Educate To Life - Montessori Notes

The Rabbit Listened

When my children get angry (every other day lately), they would storm off to their room, slam the door and sit against it screaming, kicking or ‘just’ crying.
My heart aches at each and every fit of anger, because it’s not always been like this.
Their frustration is clearly caused by the prolonged isolation and by having so many rules.
Anxiety can be triggered by all sorts of trivial reasons and hide underneath them.
In the past, I used to easily react to outbursts making things much worse, depending on my level of tiredness.
Or I would try to talk them through it:

“It’s ok! Let’s go and play”
“You are being silly come out of there”
“Shall we talk about this?”
“Calm down!”

And so on..
Now I sit in the corridor, trying not to take it personal when they state they don’t like the meal It took me an hour to make.
I call them softly and say:

“I’m here. You can see me through the door lock.
When you are ready, I’ll be here to hug you if you wish”
Then we would play a bit spying at each other through the lock, and the door would often open within a couple of minutes.
Thing is children often can’t verbalise emotions well.
This doesn’t authorise us to try distracting them.
They may also feel ashamed and guilty about how they are behaving, they may be scared about their own feelings as they can’t control them.

When they are angry, they often just need silence and unconditional love, to be listened to and to feel accepted, so they can figure it out by themselves.
They know that no matter how inappropriate their behaviour is, they are safe.
This book is all about this (we’ve read it today when the door opened):
It’s about dealing with unexpected events and frustration, it’s about the type of help that we should be offering our children as they navigate what they cannot control.
It’s so nicely written with simple illustrations on white background, a very straight forward symbolism (a crashed down castle made with blocks, a bunch of animals suggesting solutions and a cuddly bunny) which instantly resonates with young children 2-6y.

Highly recommended!

Written  by Cori Doerrfeld
English-language edition by Scallywag Press
Edizione italiana ‘Ascolta’ edita da Il Castoro

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